2004: Entertainers of the Year

Well here are my entertainers of the year. All 11 of them. Yeah, not sure why I chose 11, just random. But I gotta give shout outs to a few others first who had an amazing year and you should really check out: Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy’s amazing chemistry in Before Sunset, Natalie Portman for finally rocking out in two amazing movies this year, ABC for restoring my faith in television (if I ever have to watch another reality TV show again I will scream, ok American Idol I miss you, but everything else go away), the end of Friends and Sex and the City proved to be some nice little highlights as well. Also, the wonderful O.C. crowd had restored my faith in the teeny-bop genre.

80’s retro music has finally made the comeback I have been waiting for this year, with such high profile acts as the Killer’s, The Darkness and Gwen Stefani channeling some of my fav’s from the decade. Oh, and I felt obligated to include Canadian content wherever possible, lol not that I don’t enjoy it. And while there are some of you out there who insist on hating the critical mass, get over it. Everyone just wants to make money - what is important is making money and doing it well.

As per always, half of what I say makes no sense, and there are glaring omissions. Meh, what can you do. Also, I don’t pretend not to have 1000’s typos. Proof read it yourself if you want, I’m not. That said, here you go.

(1) Zach Braff
First time director Zach Braff blew me away. And not even in that way you are thinking. The man is amazing. Garden State probably one of the best coming of age movies in recent memory, not only starring, directing and writing, he still found time to star in the unbelievable Scrubs and voice over the soon to be classic Chicken Little (I’m serious). That being said, he was the man of the year, even taking one of his amazing mix tapes and making it into the album/soundtrack of the year for Garden State. Pure and simple genius. Now all we have to do is get him to stop dating that dumb hoe Mandy Moore. Oh Mandy go find some Candy.

(2) John Stewart
''If the events of September 11th have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American -- our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.'' Oh Jonny. He had the book of the year, his show is finally starting to soar, and the man is just damn funny as hell. Check him out. He mad politics cool again; maybe it wasn’t ever. He is just damn cool.

(3) Arrested Development – Cast
This show has given me faith in television again. Why aren’t you watching it. The Bluth family is f’ing amazing. Never has dysfunction worked so well. Honestly, it is the best television show since I loved Lucy. Oh yeah, and that is a picture of Jason Bateman, I was too lazy to find a picture of the whole cast.

(4) Kate Winslet
Her performance as Clementine wowed me more than anything this year. She is truly a gifted brilliant actress. Even in the dreary and dreadful Finding Neverland she managed to shine. Kate Winslet is one amazing hot tamale, even though not so long ago she kept going on about some annoying guy named Jack.

(5) Mean Girls - Cast
I have to admit this has been my guilty pleasure of the year so far. I know, a grown male to love this so much is wrong, but it is soo good. First off, I gotta give props to Tina Fey for writing a wickedly funny screenplay; and to Lindsay Lohan for giving me faith that teen actresses are more that just “Stuff by Duff”. And god who doesn’t love bitchy girls; I can only pray for my reincarnation to be one big huge slutty bitch lol. A scene towards the end of the movie in which the school all finds out the contents of the Burn Book and turn savage on each other is sheer brilliance. Honestly, I haven’t laughed out loud in a movie or thought, wow, at a mainstream teen angst movie in a long time. While this is no Donnie Darko, this wicked look at teenage girls and their social environment, gives other teen movies like Heathers a run for his money.

(6) The Killers
"Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend that I had of February of last year." WTF???!?! So good. I love you 1980’s. Go buy the album now. Hot Fuss. You wanna believe it.

(7) Michael Moore
The man made one of the most controversial movies of our time. Plus he challenged the world to think outside the box and use their right to vote. Love him or hate him, he is everything America should be. Free spirited, questioning, always looking to do better for his country.

(8) Chantal Kreviazuk and Rain Maida - “Producers Extraordinaire!”
Who knew they were better songwriter/producers than artists? I mean don’t get me wrong, by no means do I think they are the Fleetwood Mac of our time, but what they did for Avril Lavigne and Kelly Clarkson, to name a few, has really impressed me and many critics. Truthfully at best, Lavigne is the anti-Britney who can write catchy, catchy hooks. And to her credit that is a lot to live up too and she does it well. But with the help of Kreviazuk and Maida she seems to have really come into her own. They have given her melody, genuine angst and emotion as well some of the best lyrics to date (and for all of you haters out there, the girl is 19 so it is ok that she is writing about boys trying to get in her pants, no need for her to be worrying about world peace). They also gave Ms. Clarkson a little more grit and melody as well. I hope Kreviazuk and Maida take a hint from all of this success from their production work and continue as amazing songwriters/producers and forget about their own work for a while.

(9) J.J. Abrams
Alias is back better than ever, and LOST is probably the best scripted drama in years. J.J. is proving himself to be Hollywood’s new wonder boy, and now being tapped to direct Mission Impossible III, he is finally ready to make it to the big league. J.J. has helped create Must See TV Wednesdays!

(10) Desperate Housewives
Who knew if you took a transvestite, superman’s ex-girlfriend, a psychopath who likes to take her hair off and a buch of slutty has-been soap stars you could have such a comic gem? Certainly not I, certainly not I. I love the Wives. Now, I admit the show is quite superficial and over the top, but isn’t that the brilliance of the whole thing? Watch it! While Carrie Bradshaw has left us, we have a whole new set of wonderful woman to keep us entertained on Sunday nights. And the supporting cast, I love it. ABC is rehashing every C rated prime star ever, lol, Doug Savant, Marla Sokolof, Ryan O’Neil, it only keeps getting better for some reason.

(11) Jessica Biel
She was buff and tough. I mean it. Blade was awful. Just awful, but finally I believed she wasn’t Jessica Biel. Finally she wasn’t Mary from Seventh Heaven. Finally, she showed me should could be a hard core action bitch. I loved it. I hope she continues to be the ultimate action scream queen.

-MAMA