American Idol- Season 4 Week 1

Ok, I don’t know where to even begin. I myself, am not a huge fan of the reality TV genre, however, every year when American Idol (AI) returns I find myself getting sucked in. Oddly enough nothing repulses me more than Canadian Idol, go figure. I think that is mostly based on that Canadians are just uglier.

Anyway, here is my weekly AI rant. For those of you who offend easily, screw off, lol. Now with all the formalities out of the way, let’s begin.

I generally don’t like this part of the competition. For some reason, the AI producers feel like belittling me, the viewer, into thinking I enjoy watching people sing badly. While the occasional bad audition is funny, I do not need to see every psycho in America come out and warble. Enough already!

Secondly, what has AI turned into? A big history lesson? While I am not some gun-touting American, I do not care about American History. For that matter, I am sure they don’t care either. Hello? Have you checked your target audience lately? They don’t give a rats a** to these little after school lessons.

Now to the good stuff. Paula, oh Paula, what did you do during your hiatus? Spend the whole time at Baskin Robins? Somebody needs to tell Ms Abdul, it might do her some good to find some of that eating disorder she apparently left behind in the early 90’s. In real life people can eat whatever they want, if you are getting paid millions to be on TV, for the love of god it is your duty to stay beautiful. And newsflash Paula, the 80’s are over, way over.

Reaching an all new low, Mark McGrath apparently enjoys getting wedgies from his band mates? Does he want to flush the remaining credibility that he has? For the love of god, now all he has to do is drag himself out to The Surreal Life and we are all set. And while we are on this topic, do we really need anymore guest judges? Brandy, Gene Simmons, Kenny Loggins? WTF, Kenny Loggins? Seriously, were they scraping the bottom of the barrel? They could have called me!

That being said, I have yet to see any good talent. Every knocked up baby's momma in America has apparently come out to audition this time. Apparently Fantasia has made it cool to be a single ghetto mom. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it is just not something that you should strive for, like half of the people auditions seem to have been.

And what was with Bertha and the scratch marks all over her body? Are some of these people touched? Shouldn’t the Mental Health Association of America be in an uproar over the handicap getting exploited? I just can’t understand how some of these people are for real.

That being said, I am sure I will start loving it once we are down to our final 12, however, I don’t like this battle of the sexes thing. I fear it will flop, but ya never know. Also, this competition does not need another 10 contestants who sing bland R&B. Lets face it, the world does not need anymore Patti Labelle’s and Brian McKnights. Lets pray they can actually find someone good looking. Really, you don’t need a good voice to be a pop star, just a good body.

I will also be doing a past idol update for those of you that care. And for those of you that don’t, please bugger off. Josh Gracin is apparently rockin’ the country charts lately. Who knew the military flunky would become a successful country singer? Check out his second top 10 single, “Nothing to Lose”. Oh and for those of you counting, Justin Guarini has sold in excess of 160,000 copies of his debut CD! LOL LOL LOL!

MaMa out.

PS – Does Ryan Seacrest even have a point on this show anymore? Haha, he is more like Paris Hilton in The Simple Life! Haha, let’s make Ryan do random things and film it, in some of the most obscure cities in the country lol. Oh Brian Dunkelman don’t you wish you had stayed around.

PPS – Diana Degarmo you were robbed!