American Idol - Voting Begins - Week 1 - Episode 1
Oh my head hurt so much after last night. I am not even going to try and figure out what happened to American Idol. Granted there has always been a cheese factor that has oozed out of it (for those of you that are doubting me, need I remind you of those awful Coke and Ford promo’s) but that has always been some of the appeal to Fox programming in general.
But last night, WTF?!?!? I felt with every contestant walking out onto stage I was watching a Spice Girls reunion for guys. Did they all need to have their own cheesy personality? And what was with that dancing at the first? Who the hell thought that was cool in any way? Seriously, there was no need; which just set a really bizarre and awkward tone for the entire show.
One thing I did enjoy was how they did manage to cram 12 performances into the hour, which was nice, considering normally they find a way to drag 3 performances out into an hour. The show had a good pace last night. Although for some reason, I couldn’t help but shake the feeling that the most rated show on television was nothing more than a silly high school talent show that hadn’t worked out all of it’s logistical and performance bugs. Enough ranting for now though about how the show is making a mint off of it’s cardboard sets.
For starters, I realize Ryan is metro; but there is a limit. Did he not look into the mirror before he went onstage? Oh Brian Dunkleman where are you? And is Paula trying to channel Maid Marian? What was with the cape and the armour on her arms? I seriously think the woman has been drinking too much. If we are really lucky we will get her random arm cast back. I was just so confused watching her the whole time.
Now to the contestants. As you all know, each week is usually burdened with some godly theme, and as I watched last night I tried to figure out what the theme was, but then I realized there was no theme. These stupid, stupid men all just chose songs from some 1980’s love compilation or borrowed the soundtrack from Days of Our Lives circa 1984. Oh the horror.
So yeah. Not much to be excited about here. The producers have been hyping up this year as the year of the man, but after last night, I wish all the men would just go home to their trailers.
(random side note – the more I have been thinking about it, did anyone notice how big Marissa’s cahunga’s grew last week towards the end of the episode of the OC? Could it be that Mischa Barton has finally started eating or has finally decided that heroine sheik is out?)
Oh right the contestants (and this might not be in the right order) and if you like me cannot remember names, go check them out - http://www.idolonfox.com/contestants/
(1) Nikko Smith – Thank god Stevie Wonder is blind, he would be hunting you down man. That was just awful. As Randy always says ‘Man you blow!”
(2) Travis Tucker – Shemar Moore already exists and Soul Train does not need another host. You creep me out dude.
(3) Scott Savol – I know this will not be a popular comment, but this guy needs to hop on the treadmill. If you are going to be a pop star, be beautiful; leave the couch potato job to me.
(4) Jared Yates – You sent shivers throughout my body. More like a seizure actually. Oh god you were awful. Time for you to go home.
(5) David Brown – I am not sure what to make of you. If I didn’t look at you, it was ok, but you know what, at some point someone is going to have to look at you. Better luck next time.
(6) Judd Harris – First of all, for having the name Judd should automatically disqualify you. Secondly, Elvis is alive and he is not happy. Very not happy.
(7) Joseph Murena – I wanted to like you. You seem like a normal down to earth guy, but when you started to do this weird séance and channel the ghosts of the dearly departed Richard Marx (who I love but that is not the point) and Michael Bolton (once again my epilepsy started acting up) I lost all hope for you.
(8) Bo Bice – I don’t know what kind of crack the judges are on, but you are out of your league. This is not the right show for you. Picture it, Eddie Vedder trying out for American Idol? I hope you get a big wedgie when you get sent home to your friends.
(9) Constantine Maroulis – All I can say is Jeffrey Dahmer. This man is way to creepy. Leading to one of my main points, where did they find all of these weirdos. He sings worse than me, and for those of you that know me, well, lets just say, there is no good singing coming out of me. And Seal. Oye vey.
(10) Anwar Robison – I am not sure what to make of the Rastafarian crooner. The verdict is still out on him. I may enjoy him or despise him. Please stay tuned.
(11) Anthony Federov – First of all, can this boy speak English? Secondly, enough with the pity vote and the tracheotomy, we get it. Move on. I had hope for this guy, but after brutalizing Richard Marx, I have my doubts.
(12) Mario Vasquez – Ok, so nobody ever believes me when I make my initial predictions but here I go. Without seeing the girls, this guy is gonna be top two. I called Kelly from before the final 10 in the first season. I called Diano Degarmo last year the first time I saw her and this year, Mario is the man. (Season 2 still remains a mystery to me, Trenyce you were robbed) He was brilliant, as Michelle put it “He is Justin Timberlake meets Michael Jackson”. He walked out onto the stage and owned it. I don’t know what the judges were thinking. He was hands down the best, and by a long shot. His only downfall was that he has this creepy Fez (That 70’s show) thing going on. The judges need to smarten up and see this man has skillz.
So week 1 is underway. I am excited for the ladies tonight, I just hope the producers don’t make them dance on poles and sing selections from the original soundtrack of Footloose.
-Mama
But last night, WTF?!?!? I felt with every contestant walking out onto stage I was watching a Spice Girls reunion for guys. Did they all need to have their own cheesy personality? And what was with that dancing at the first? Who the hell thought that was cool in any way? Seriously, there was no need; which just set a really bizarre and awkward tone for the entire show.
One thing I did enjoy was how they did manage to cram 12 performances into the hour, which was nice, considering normally they find a way to drag 3 performances out into an hour. The show had a good pace last night. Although for some reason, I couldn’t help but shake the feeling that the most rated show on television was nothing more than a silly high school talent show that hadn’t worked out all of it’s logistical and performance bugs. Enough ranting for now though about how the show is making a mint off of it’s cardboard sets.
For starters, I realize Ryan is metro; but there is a limit. Did he not look into the mirror before he went onstage? Oh Brian Dunkleman where are you? And is Paula trying to channel Maid Marian? What was with the cape and the armour on her arms? I seriously think the woman has been drinking too much. If we are really lucky we will get her random arm cast back. I was just so confused watching her the whole time.
Now to the contestants. As you all know, each week is usually burdened with some godly theme, and as I watched last night I tried to figure out what the theme was, but then I realized there was no theme. These stupid, stupid men all just chose songs from some 1980’s love compilation or borrowed the soundtrack from Days of Our Lives circa 1984. Oh the horror.
So yeah. Not much to be excited about here. The producers have been hyping up this year as the year of the man, but after last night, I wish all the men would just go home to their trailers.
(random side note – the more I have been thinking about it, did anyone notice how big Marissa’s cahunga’s grew last week towards the end of the episode of the OC? Could it be that Mischa Barton has finally started eating or has finally decided that heroine sheik is out?)
Oh right the contestants (and this might not be in the right order) and if you like me cannot remember names, go check them out - http://www.idolonfox.com/contestants/
(1) Nikko Smith – Thank god Stevie Wonder is blind, he would be hunting you down man. That was just awful. As Randy always says ‘Man you blow!”
(2) Travis Tucker – Shemar Moore already exists and Soul Train does not need another host. You creep me out dude.
(3) Scott Savol – I know this will not be a popular comment, but this guy needs to hop on the treadmill. If you are going to be a pop star, be beautiful; leave the couch potato job to me.
(4) Jared Yates – You sent shivers throughout my body. More like a seizure actually. Oh god you were awful. Time for you to go home.
(5) David Brown – I am not sure what to make of you. If I didn’t look at you, it was ok, but you know what, at some point someone is going to have to look at you. Better luck next time.
(6) Judd Harris – First of all, for having the name Judd should automatically disqualify you. Secondly, Elvis is alive and he is not happy. Very not happy.
(7) Joseph Murena – I wanted to like you. You seem like a normal down to earth guy, but when you started to do this weird séance and channel the ghosts of the dearly departed Richard Marx (who I love but that is not the point) and Michael Bolton (once again my epilepsy started acting up) I lost all hope for you.
(8) Bo Bice – I don’t know what kind of crack the judges are on, but you are out of your league. This is not the right show for you. Picture it, Eddie Vedder trying out for American Idol? I hope you get a big wedgie when you get sent home to your friends.
(9) Constantine Maroulis – All I can say is Jeffrey Dahmer. This man is way to creepy. Leading to one of my main points, where did they find all of these weirdos. He sings worse than me, and for those of you that know me, well, lets just say, there is no good singing coming out of me. And Seal. Oye vey.
(10) Anwar Robison – I am not sure what to make of the Rastafarian crooner. The verdict is still out on him. I may enjoy him or despise him. Please stay tuned.
(11) Anthony Federov – First of all, can this boy speak English? Secondly, enough with the pity vote and the tracheotomy, we get it. Move on. I had hope for this guy, but after brutalizing Richard Marx, I have my doubts.
(12) Mario Vasquez – Ok, so nobody ever believes me when I make my initial predictions but here I go. Without seeing the girls, this guy is gonna be top two. I called Kelly from before the final 10 in the first season. I called Diano Degarmo last year the first time I saw her and this year, Mario is the man. (Season 2 still remains a mystery to me, Trenyce you were robbed) He was brilliant, as Michelle put it “He is Justin Timberlake meets Michael Jackson”. He walked out onto the stage and owned it. I don’t know what the judges were thinking. He was hands down the best, and by a long shot. His only downfall was that he has this creepy Fez (That 70’s show) thing going on. The judges need to smarten up and see this man has skillz.
So week 1 is underway. I am excited for the ladies tonight, I just hope the producers don’t make them dance on poles and sing selections from the original soundtrack of Footloose.
-Mama
posted by MaMaMiTa @ 6:23 AM
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